My last five girlfriends

I am slow lately, coach potato, if you will. Watching lots of movies. And this English movie is a good (silly romantic style) one: My last five girlfriends! I loved the theme park metaphor to relationships in life.

After yet another failed relationship, 30-something Duncan (Brendan Patricks) decides to quiz his last five girlfriends to find out what went wrong in order to figure out how to find love. With advice from bizarre sources and intense flights of fancy, finally Duncan realises that love is a battleground where only the fittest can survive.

Duncan's suicidal note:

What you've collectively done to me is quite an achievement. Four years ago, I was happy to believe in a very simple concept. You might have heard of it, it's called LOVE. But thanks to the five of you, I now know that love is a lie, a myth specifically concocted to bring me as much pain and misery as possible. Wendy: were you ever really that interested in me, or was I merely a holiday while you and him went through a dull patch? Olive: almost everything I told you was a lie. Sorry about that. Rhona: who'd you think I was? If I was that wrong for you, then you really should have paid more attention at the start. Natalie: okay, so I know I've had enough of this one, but did you really want ME, or just someone? And Gemma: what should I say to you? I suppose I should forgive you. 

This is a suicide note, after all. Okay, I forgive you. But I don't want that to make you feel any better... I'm sure you'll all find someone. You might even think you're in love, but don't kid yourselves: we're all just playing out scenes we've seen in films, the only difference is that our stories have depressing endings. When real people walk towards a sunset, no music swells, no credits roll - they just get to the end of the beach, have a row, and walk back to the car. And that's depressing! In fact after reading this, you might feel your only option is to join me! And that's the one thing I wouldn't blame you for. Bye then: Duncan.